Archive for the ‘Sophomore’ Category
“I wish my teen were interested in something…”
As parents we all cherish those rare moments watching our child do something they truly love. However, more common is to worry over a child who seems without interests either inside or outside of school. To follow are five suggestions for parents wanting to support their child’s discovery and exploration of individual interests. For most, passions are nurtured over time, not found overnight.
1. “Why” Respond to most (if not all) statements with this three letter word.
- Don’t be surprised if at first you don’t get an answer.
- Be patient. Reflecting on the “Why†of issues is a skill that requires practice.
- Even more challenging can be expressing the “Whyâ€.
- “Who?†Set as overriding goal for your teen/young adult the exploration of who they are.
o Remind yourself that if you truly believe every child is different, why do we judge them all by the same standards and ask them to all do the same things.
o Listen and watch your teen/young adult to see both large and small clues that might lead to the discovery of an interest, and later perhaps a passion.
- “What?†Continuously encourage your teen/young adult to evaluate their classes, organized and unorganized activities in terms of “why†they like/dislike them and how that relates to “who†they are and/or might aspire to be.
o Facilitate exploration of “new†interests both academic/ nonacademic
o Suggests avenues to pursue identified interests
o Provide teen/young adult with factual consequences of proposed decisions
o Celebrate the “tryingâ€. Lessons learned are the key (both positive and negative).
- Develop personal self-confidence/independence in your teen/young adult.
o When your teen/young adult makes a decision based on thoughtful consideration of the “why/who/what†for him/her, support that decision whole-heartedly.
o Encourage your teen to participate in activities away from familiar places or people giving them opportunities to practice making new friends and adjusting to new places. Gradually increase time and distance from comfort zone.
- Exploration of post-secondary academic/career alternatives should be seamlessly added throughout high school years following the same “Why/Who/What†process.
END GAME: If the process is working the parent will gradually be replaced as the leader of the self-exploration process. However, the mutually respectful dialogue will have become a central part of your relationship with your child and will continue on into their adult life as they maneuver through the working world and starting their own family and all each entails.
Students, Don’t Take New Orleans Off Your College Destination List
Tulane University, Loyola University New Orleans and others report there incoming class of 2007 increasing in numbers and approaching pre-Katrina levels. In fact, Loyola recently reported that it has increased numbers of students from out-of-state in its freshman class. It is good news for college applicants that these universities located in such an exciting part of the country are “alive and well”.
Harry Potter and our college quest.
How many times can you remember a book release more anticipated and talked about than the seventh Harry Potter book? Tales of space exploration, halocaust, global warming have never sparked the excitement and obsession for this seventh book by J.K. Rowling. Recognizing the extraordinary phenomenon, the Los Angeles Times postulates today that perhaps it is the result of Rowling’s populist message: The real quest in life is that of personal transformation and not even the Chosen One can go it alone. Leaving home for college is most certainly a MAJOR personal transformation. And for those of us who are past those years, we all can cite times during our college years when we needed the support of family, friends or professors to get through a day. We definitely did not go it alone. However, its not just kids who love Harry Potter. The widespread popularity of Harry Potter to fans of all ages is proof that personal transformations are not merely for the young, and none can go it alone. So enjoy the last book if you’re a fan as I am and look forward to many personal transformations in your future, hopefully surrounded by friends, family and colleagues.
Grades in the Mail! Work Smarter, Not Just Harder
End of another school year…should ‘ve of, could ‘ve, would ‘ves abound. Whatever your story, thankfully, “It’s over!” Regrettably, that moment of euphoria–throwing your papers into the trash bins or into the air on the walk home, is ever so fleeting.
Breaking the crazy, lazy daze of summer haze, I must report that grades do matter. They matter a lot! According to a recent University of California study, high school grades are a better predictor of college performance than the dreaded SAT’s. [We knew that all along…but now its true because University of California said so.]
Recognizing that the college admissions offices exist to identify high school students who will succeed and thrive at the various colleges and universities across the country. I believe the next few years will bring even more emphasis by college admissions officers on grades, activities, community service and employment…less on SAT’s. This trend will not be limited to small liberal arts colleges. UCLA adopted just such an holistic approach to admissions this year and reports good results particularly in the area of minority admissions indirectly confirming the SAT’s socioeconomic bias.
What to do? Take a day off, go to the beach, the shore, the lake or the river and then come back home committed to working even harder next year. Working harder means also working smarter. Select classes, activities, community service and work that allows you to explore your interest. Less can be more if it is done better.
Oh yes, and don’t forget the sunscreen.
Young Men and College: Aren’t Going and Aren’t Staying?
“Women make up 58 percent of college and university students, with the percentage of men shrinking every year.”
“Nationwide, male students are also much more likely than women to drop out of school, have lower grades, have run-ins with campus judicial systems and even commit crimes…A lot of times its fighting, vandalism, damaging property. The overwhelming majority of the time it involves alcohol.”
“Experts also say men are less likely to seek help from tutors, teachers and counselors than women–one reason they probably drop out more often.”
Orange County Register June 4, 2007.
According to this Register article, university professionals are becoming more interested in serving the specific needs of male students. University of California Irvine Asst. Vice Chancellor Thomas Parham believes boys of all races generally do worse in school because they are more physically active and find it harder to sit and study or listen to a lecture.
Along that line, together with my local PTA book club, I recently read The Minds of Boys: Saving Our Sons from Falling Behind in School and Life, by Michael Gurian. Gurian’s message is that the innate learning style of boys is inconsistent with traditional kindergarten through high school education programs. In addition to brain research, he includes separate chapters on boys with ADD/ADHD, undermotivated boys and sensitive boys. Whether or not Gurian’s specific suggestions for change will be effective in bettering the lot of boys in our schools is yet to be seen. However, Gurian’s work most certainly will raise awareness of the learning differences between boys and girls which is an important first step.
As parents we all know boys are different from girls and boys are different from each other. But if for example, if boys are less likely to seek out help with school then perhaps as parents we need to stay more on top of our son’s grades in order to encourage them to get help when they need it. We hope that by the time our son is in college he will have learned the benefits of seeking help and will initiate it on his own…well, perhaps after a stumble or two freshman year.
On my son’s graduation day from Oberlin College, I felt pride and relief that he had stuck it out. So many of his male friends from freshmen year didn’t cross the stage that day. As he gathered his cap and diploma, a woman rushed up to him and gave him a giant hug–it was his tutor from the learning center who he finally sought out his sophomore year. After the ceremony driving to lunch he summed it up perfectly with a big smile on his face, “I’m never going to school again!” Well two years later he makes mention from time to time of graduate school, but no definite plans. He loves his work as a musician which pays the rent so everything is good.
PS In the interest of equal time…a very different book but one about challenges girls are facing is Stressed-Out Girls: Helping Them Thrive in the Age of Pressure, by Roni Cohen-Sandler, Ph.D. Subject for future blog.
It’s NOT Harder to Get Into Elite Colleges! “Statistical Mirage” ?
We’ve all seen report after report that it is increasingly difficult to gain acceptance at the country’s elite colleges (recognizing that the label of elite college is itself in constant flux). For example, the admission rate (percentage of applicants accepted) at Pomona in Claremont, California, was about 15% this spring; it was 38% twenty years ago. (reported in New York Times, 5/16/07).
Kevin Carey, a research and policy manager at Education Sector, insists it is not in reality harder to gain acceptance to elite colleges calling the alleged increased difficulty a “statistical mirage”. (See Dallas Morning News May 13, 2007) Carey explains that from a student’s perspective, the odds of getting into college are a function of two things: the number of qualified students who apply and the number of slots that colleges make available. Carey agrees that the number of prospective college students is growing. But he is quick to add that the number of spaces in elite colleges is increasing at a nearly identical rate. [This fact is critical to his theory and merits further substantiation.] But moving on…so what’s really happening?
Carey illustrates his theory with this example. Imagine 20 students, each of whom applies to five schools and gets into two. Now imagine if the same 20 students each apply to ten schools and again get into two. The outcome for the students is the same: two acceptance letters. But the “additional” schools in the second example will report lower admission rates, and the odds of admission will be reported as numerically lower, but in reality be the same!?
Somehow I feel like I just fell victim to a shell game. I would be interested to hear your thoughts. At a minimum, even if the outcome is same for this student, the increase in number of applicants must necessarily add uncertainty as to the qualifications of the other students applying thereby lowering any given student’s chance of acceptance by one of Carey’s two basic assumptions. Put another way, if there are more balls in play its more difficult to predict the outcome.
It certainly FEELS like more than a mirage! Ask high school seniors.
It’s not WHERE you go, but WHO you are.
Arlene Matthews has written a book entitled Getting In Without Freaking Out: 101 Stress-Free Secrets. Secret #4 suggests that a parent ask their student to name three people they admire and why. Afterwords ask the student where those people went to college. Odds are the student won’t have a clue. Illustrating once again, that it is not where you go to college, but who you are that will cause those around you to admire you.
Who YOU are should drive where you go to college, not who your friends and family think you are, or wish you were. Begin your college search by reflecting on who you are and who you want to be. Remember college is a match to be made, not a prize to be won.
Dreams Happen at Target and Safety Schools as Well
The most striking reality these final weeks of April is that the majority of high school seniors are choosing between two safety schools, or if fortunate ,between a safety and a target school. I’m sure you can list on one hand the number of seniors you know who are choosing between two of their reach schools.
Yes, it is true that gaining acceptance to college is getting tougher with every passing year, and is expected to continue this trend until at earliest 2013. For the unborn child that is good news. For the rest of aspiring students past the sixth grade, we need to focus our research and reflection not on those exciting “reach” colleges that fill our dreams, but instead on the runner-up “target” schools that are almost as good but not quite. Equally important is to understand your “safety” schools–there’s no safety in a school you learn in April doesn’t have the major you want.
Though I hesitate to quote Stanford’s Dean of Admissions, a school oft cited for “wacky” admissions decisions, Richard Shaw’s message to parents and students is to “celebrate what you have. The key here is for families to rally around options and move forward.” And to parents in particular he advises them to step back and make sure they’re not more upset than their son or daughter. Upon reflection families so often report, “It was all for the best. She couldn’t have been happier.” Dreams come in many packages–yes, they happen every day at target and safety schools as well.
Make the choice. Celebrate your senior’s accomplishments in high school. Prepare for a summer when you’re all in transition to this exciting new stage in life. Frequent hugs will help to get everyone through it. Even the family dog will need extra support as he/she loses a friend to college.
UCLA BREAKS THE UC MOLD: Looking to Learn Who the Applicant Is and What He/She Cares About
As reported in today’s Los Angeles Times (B-1), UCLA is trying an all new (for them) “holistic” approach to reviewing applications for admissions. The change at least in part was motivated by UCLA’s lagging diversity, while at the same time being forbidden to consider ethnicity when making admission decisions. It will be interesting to see what if any impact it has on the make-up of the graduating class of 2011. “We’re looking for all kinds of students at UCLA.” No other UC has reported similar changes to its review procedures. The UCLA approach continues to give more weight to grades and test scores, but promises that each admissions reader will read the entire application prior to rating it on a 1 to 5 scale with 1. being “Emphatically recommend for admission” and 5.being “Recommend deny”. Each application will be scored by two readers.
UCLA admissions readers offered some important insight into their criteria: “Be wary of sob stories, but try to recognize when a student has genuine difficulties. Look for ‘passion’ in an applicant’s file, as well as evidence of values and ethics. Look for leadership, but know that not every student could be first in everything.” The article also criticized a hypothetical application because the student focused his essays on his parents, and not enough on “who he was and what he cared about.”
Only time will tell the impact that this holistic approach will have on who gains acceptance to UCLA, and who does not. But any movement toward looking beyond grades and test scores should be encouraged.
Don’t Be Misled At Your Mailbox By Colleges
What does it really mean if I check the little box on the PSAT and SAT registration forms releasing my contact information? Put simply, it allows College Board to sell your information to colleges who may purchase all types of different lists-lists based on scores, ethnic background, address. Soon you will be receiving almost daily letters from admissions offices, viewbooks and more.
For example, both Duke and Harvard annually send mail to over 70,000 high school students who have either expressed an interest in the school or released their information to the College Board. Each targetted student will receive multiple mailings. Many of the colleges know little about the students they contact, not your GPA, not your SAT’s, they just want you to apply to their school. Guttentag, Dean of Undergraduate Admissions at Duke University, explains that receiving a mailing from a college doesn’t guarantee admission or even preferential treatment.
Far from discouraging the checking of the little box on PSAT or SAT registration, I encourage you to check the box, to look through the college materials that will follow, to keep those that might be of interest and to discard the others… just as you would any other catalog you receive in the mail.
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