Archive for the ‘Junior’ Category
26% of College Freshmen Drop Out!
As college freshmen return home for the holidays educational psychologists encourage parents to watch for signs of depression. When they left for college they may have been full of optimism, but going back they know what college really is, and for many that wasn’t great. Maybe football games were really fun, but roommate was awful…or classes were so hard, no time to hang out and make new friends…or just don’t like all the rain.
So what to listen for?
1. Does your freshman mention new friends at school? Does he/she text message, email or call them over the holidays? I ask my kids for their friend’s addresses so I can send them a Christmas card…good information for the future.
2. How were the first semester grades? Were they different from grades in high school? Ask which classes they liked and which they hated? Find out specifically what academic advising your student has received and will receive. Check out the school’s web site and give your son or daughter the “How to” of getting academic tutoring if need be. Listen for the name of a professor who they really respect and again jot down the name. You may need it sometime in the future.
3. Listen for what your son/daughter does for fun at school. If for example they’re on a dorm intramural basketball team suggest they get some new shoes or shorts over the holiday. Let them know you want them to be doing more than just studying. Listen for the name of the older student in the dorm that seems to be the one your son/daughter likes to talk to.
4. MOST Important! Set definite dates for your next visit. You be the judge of how soon that needs to be based on your time together at the holidays.
And finally, if your son or daughter is one of the 26% welcome them home with a big hug and don’t panic. Emphasize that the only failure was a failure to pick the right college–the right match! Start anew rebuilding their confidence, listening to what was right about their first college, what was wrong and find that “Perfect Match”.
“I wish my teen were interested in something…”
As parents we all cherish those rare moments watching our child do something they truly love. However, more common is to worry over a child who seems without interests either inside or outside of school. To follow are five suggestions for parents wanting to support their child’s discovery and exploration of individual interests. For most, passions are nurtured over time, not found overnight.
1. “Why” Respond to most (if not all) statements with this three letter word.
- Don’t be surprised if at first you don’t get an answer.
- Be patient. Reflecting on the “Why†of issues is a skill that requires practice.
- Even more challenging can be expressing the “Whyâ€.
- “Who?†Set as overriding goal for your teen/young adult the exploration of who they are.
o Remind yourself that if you truly believe every child is different, why do we judge them all by the same standards and ask them to all do the same things.
o Listen and watch your teen/young adult to see both large and small clues that might lead to the discovery of an interest, and later perhaps a passion.
- “What?†Continuously encourage your teen/young adult to evaluate their classes, organized and unorganized activities in terms of “why†they like/dislike them and how that relates to “who†they are and/or might aspire to be.
o Facilitate exploration of “new†interests both academic/ nonacademic
o Suggests avenues to pursue identified interests
o Provide teen/young adult with factual consequences of proposed decisions
o Celebrate the “tryingâ€. Lessons learned are the key (both positive and negative).
- Develop personal self-confidence/independence in your teen/young adult.
o When your teen/young adult makes a decision based on thoughtful consideration of the “why/who/what†for him/her, support that decision whole-heartedly.
o Encourage your teen to participate in activities away from familiar places or people giving them opportunities to practice making new friends and adjusting to new places. Gradually increase time and distance from comfort zone.
- Exploration of post-secondary academic/career alternatives should be seamlessly added throughout high school years following the same “Why/Who/What†process.
END GAME: If the process is working the parent will gradually be replaced as the leader of the self-exploration process. However, the mutually respectful dialogue will have become a central part of your relationship with your child and will continue on into their adult life as they maneuver through the working world and starting their own family and all each entails.
Students, Don’t Take New Orleans Off Your College Destination List
Tulane University, Loyola University New Orleans and others report there incoming class of 2007 increasing in numbers and approaching pre-Katrina levels. In fact, Loyola recently reported that it has increased numbers of students from out-of-state in its freshman class. It is good news for college applicants that these universities located in such an exciting part of the country are “alive and well”.
Have Fun with Your Senior Despite College Applications
“Did you ask Mrs. Smith if she would write your recommendation? And did you remember to pick up the unofficial transcript in the office today? You should register for SATII’s right now if you want to get a good location.”….
No surprise that your senior is avoiding you.
It’s your last year with your senior at home, dont let college applications spoil it. In order to avoid this stress trap I recommend that you Schedule two ( for some as short as 15 minutes) “meetings” each week to discuss college to do’s or questions. Ideally, one will be on the weekend and one midweek. In return for your senior promising to attend these meetings, you will promise to save all of your college-related questions for the next “meeting”. Setting up a place on the refrigerator where questions can be listed will allow you both to move on without fear of forgetting the question.
Its a great way to get your senior back, and feel that you are driving the college admission process not being driven mad by it. Though some days it is difficult to believe that the college application process is not the center of your universe, it isn’t. Being there when a test score is disappointing or a funny thing happened at lunch may do more for your senior in the long run than never-ending reminders about his or her college applications.
PS You might wish to ask your senior if they would prefer to not have every extended family gathering include a discussion of where they are applying to college. One senior sent her final list to her family via email and promised to let them know any news as it arrived.
Harry Potter and our college quest.
How many times can you remember a book release more anticipated and talked about than the seventh Harry Potter book? Tales of space exploration, halocaust, global warming have never sparked the excitement and obsession for this seventh book by J.K. Rowling. Recognizing the extraordinary phenomenon, the Los Angeles Times postulates today that perhaps it is the result of Rowling’s populist message: The real quest in life is that of personal transformation and not even the Chosen One can go it alone. Leaving home for college is most certainly a MAJOR personal transformation. And for those of us who are past those years, we all can cite times during our college years when we needed the support of family, friends or professors to get through a day. We definitely did not go it alone. However, its not just kids who love Harry Potter. The widespread popularity of Harry Potter to fans of all ages is proof that personal transformations are not merely for the young, and none can go it alone. So enjoy the last book if you’re a fan as I am and look forward to many personal transformations in your future, hopefully surrounded by friends, family and colleagues.
Grades in the Mail! Work Smarter, Not Just Harder
End of another school year…should ‘ve of, could ‘ve, would ‘ves abound. Whatever your story, thankfully, “It’s over!” Regrettably, that moment of euphoria–throwing your papers into the trash bins or into the air on the walk home, is ever so fleeting.
Breaking the crazy, lazy daze of summer haze, I must report that grades do matter. They matter a lot! According to a recent University of California study, high school grades are a better predictor of college performance than the dreaded SAT’s. [We knew that all along…but now its true because University of California said so.]
Recognizing that the college admissions offices exist to identify high school students who will succeed and thrive at the various colleges and universities across the country. I believe the next few years will bring even more emphasis by college admissions officers on grades, activities, community service and employment…less on SAT’s. This trend will not be limited to small liberal arts colleges. UCLA adopted just such an holistic approach to admissions this year and reports good results particularly in the area of minority admissions indirectly confirming the SAT’s socioeconomic bias.
What to do? Take a day off, go to the beach, the shore, the lake or the river and then come back home committed to working even harder next year. Working harder means also working smarter. Select classes, activities, community service and work that allows you to explore your interest. Less can be more if it is done better.
Oh yes, and don’t forget the sunscreen.
Princeton or Cal State Long Beach: Numbers Aren’t Always What They Seem
F. King Alexander, President of Cal State Long Beach, asserts in today’s “Inside Higher Ed” that people need to change how they evaluate a college’s program. Currently colleges are ranked by “US News” in large part by SAT scores and graduation rates (first-time, full time enrollees who earn degrees within six years). Princeton leads the country with a rate of 97 percent. Cal State Long Beach reports a 48 percent graduation rate. Alexander insists a comparison of these two numbers does not accurately reflect the relative quality of education offered at the two institutions.
Alexander does not propose throwing out graduation rates as a tool for comparison, but suggests adding to that measure the total graduates (8000 for Long Beach, much less for Princeton) and the percentage of students who are eligible for Pell Grants (a proxy for serving disadvantaged students). Alexander suggest that by adding these numbers many of the excellent public universities would begin to compare favorably with the private institutions that currently dominate the top of the US News rankings and thereby have more of an opportunity to catch the attention of the highly qualified high school seniors.
It would be an oversimplification if you discard Alexander’s proposal as an attempt to bash elite private schools and build up public universities. In the same article, he notes that Cornell University, University of Southern California and Brigham Young University are currently ranked slightly less competitive than their peers but graduate far more students from economic bases that include larger shares of Pell eligible students than their peers. Alexander is asking that we consider which institution is really doing the best by its students? For parents and students, its not as simple to know which school is “better” as US News would like us to think.
Young Men and College: Aren’t Going and Aren’t Staying?
“Women make up 58 percent of college and university students, with the percentage of men shrinking every year.”
“Nationwide, male students are also much more likely than women to drop out of school, have lower grades, have run-ins with campus judicial systems and even commit crimes…A lot of times its fighting, vandalism, damaging property. The overwhelming majority of the time it involves alcohol.”
“Experts also say men are less likely to seek help from tutors, teachers and counselors than women–one reason they probably drop out more often.”
Orange County Register June 4, 2007.
According to this Register article, university professionals are becoming more interested in serving the specific needs of male students. University of California Irvine Asst. Vice Chancellor Thomas Parham believes boys of all races generally do worse in school because they are more physically active and find it harder to sit and study or listen to a lecture.
Along that line, together with my local PTA book club, I recently read The Minds of Boys: Saving Our Sons from Falling Behind in School and Life, by Michael Gurian. Gurian’s message is that the innate learning style of boys is inconsistent with traditional kindergarten through high school education programs. In addition to brain research, he includes separate chapters on boys with ADD/ADHD, undermotivated boys and sensitive boys. Whether or not Gurian’s specific suggestions for change will be effective in bettering the lot of boys in our schools is yet to be seen. However, Gurian’s work most certainly will raise awareness of the learning differences between boys and girls which is an important first step.
As parents we all know boys are different from girls and boys are different from each other. But if for example, if boys are less likely to seek out help with school then perhaps as parents we need to stay more on top of our son’s grades in order to encourage them to get help when they need it. We hope that by the time our son is in college he will have learned the benefits of seeking help and will initiate it on his own…well, perhaps after a stumble or two freshman year.
On my son’s graduation day from Oberlin College, I felt pride and relief that he had stuck it out. So many of his male friends from freshmen year didn’t cross the stage that day. As he gathered his cap and diploma, a woman rushed up to him and gave him a giant hug–it was his tutor from the learning center who he finally sought out his sophomore year. After the ceremony driving to lunch he summed it up perfectly with a big smile on his face, “I’m never going to school again!” Well two years later he makes mention from time to time of graduate school, but no definite plans. He loves his work as a musician which pays the rent so everything is good.
PS In the interest of equal time…a very different book but one about challenges girls are facing is Stressed-Out Girls: Helping Them Thrive in the Age of Pressure, by Roni Cohen-Sandler, Ph.D. Subject for future blog.
High School Seniors: Crazy Daze of Summer
Its been another year of “lasts” for high school seniors across the country. Though each student had their very own set of “lasts”, each represented a moment of reflection and something lost forever. Last football game, last choir tour, last prom… Senior year has tried everyone’s patience thanks to nine months of “lasts” set in the pressure-cooker of the college application process.
But hold that thought because as summer approaches, this one may be more crazy than lazy. Seniors have been pushed out the door of their high school and are irrevocably proceeding toward college with every passing day. Parents often deal with their stress by creating lists and deadlines for preparation. Students, in contrast, frequently find the most comfort in looking back, and refusing to even think of the “firsts” looming on their horizon. For some it will be the “first” time they have shared a room or bathroom with anyone, much less a stranger. ..”first” time they can’t have a bowl of cereal at midnight…”first” time they have to do their own laundry…”first” time they have to try out for a fraternity or sorority…
Having been through this with three children, I would advise that though the “lasts” were poignant, the “firsts” are much tougher both in anticipation and execution. So have a wonderful,crazy summer. Be patient and lazy whenever possible and give your senior an extra hug as often as they will tolerate.
PS Parents and siblings are going through their own “lasts” and “firsts” so seniors you too should be patient and pass out a few random hugs this summer.
It’s NOT Harder to Get Into Elite Colleges! “Statistical Mirage” ?
We’ve all seen report after report that it is increasingly difficult to gain acceptance at the country’s elite colleges (recognizing that the label of elite college is itself in constant flux). For example, the admission rate (percentage of applicants accepted) at Pomona in Claremont, California, was about 15% this spring; it was 38% twenty years ago. (reported in New York Times, 5/16/07).
Kevin Carey, a research and policy manager at Education Sector, insists it is not in reality harder to gain acceptance to elite colleges calling the alleged increased difficulty a “statistical mirage”. (See Dallas Morning News May 13, 2007) Carey explains that from a student’s perspective, the odds of getting into college are a function of two things: the number of qualified students who apply and the number of slots that colleges make available. Carey agrees that the number of prospective college students is growing. But he is quick to add that the number of spaces in elite colleges is increasing at a nearly identical rate. [This fact is critical to his theory and merits further substantiation.] But moving on…so what’s really happening?
Carey illustrates his theory with this example. Imagine 20 students, each of whom applies to five schools and gets into two. Now imagine if the same 20 students each apply to ten schools and again get into two. The outcome for the students is the same: two acceptance letters. But the “additional” schools in the second example will report lower admission rates, and the odds of admission will be reported as numerically lower, but in reality be the same!?
Somehow I feel like I just fell victim to a shell game. I would be interested to hear your thoughts. At a minimum, even if the outcome is same for this student, the increase in number of applicants must necessarily add uncertainty as to the qualifications of the other students applying thereby lowering any given student’s chance of acceptance by one of Carey’s two basic assumptions. Put another way, if there are more balls in play its more difficult to predict the outcome.
It certainly FEELS like more than a mirage! Ask high school seniors.
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