Archive for the ‘College Parents’ Category
26% of College Freshmen Drop Out!
As college freshmen return home for the holidays educational psychologists encourage parents to watch for signs of depression. When they left for college they may have been full of optimism, but going back they know what college really is, and for many that wasn’t great. Maybe football games were really fun, but roommate was awful…or classes were so hard, no time to hang out and make new friends…or just don’t like all the rain.
So what to listen for?
1. Does your freshman mention new friends at school? Does he/she text message, email or call them over the holidays? I ask my kids for their friend’s addresses so I can send them a Christmas card…good information for the future.
2. How were the first semester grades? Were they different from grades in high school? Ask which classes they liked and which they hated? Find out specifically what academic advising your student has received and will receive. Check out the school’s web site and give your son or daughter the “How to” of getting academic tutoring if need be. Listen for the name of a professor who they really respect and again jot down the name. You may need it sometime in the future.
3. Listen for what your son/daughter does for fun at school. If for example they’re on a dorm intramural basketball team suggest they get some new shoes or shorts over the holiday. Let them know you want them to be doing more than just studying. Listen for the name of the older student in the dorm that seems to be the one your son/daughter likes to talk to.
4. MOST Important! Set definite dates for your next visit. You be the judge of how soon that needs to be based on your time together at the holidays.
And finally, if your son or daughter is one of the 26% welcome them home with a big hug and don’t panic. Emphasize that the only failure was a failure to pick the right college–the right match! Start anew rebuilding their confidence, listening to what was right about their first college, what was wrong and find that “Perfect Match”.
“I wish my teen were interested in something…”
As parents we all cherish those rare moments watching our child do something they truly love. However, more common is to worry over a child who seems without interests either inside or outside of school. To follow are five suggestions for parents wanting to support their child’s discovery and exploration of individual interests. For most, passions are nurtured over time, not found overnight.
1. “Why” Respond to most (if not all) statements with this three letter word.
- Don’t be surprised if at first you don’t get an answer.
- Be patient. Reflecting on the “Why†of issues is a skill that requires practice.
- Even more challenging can be expressing the “Whyâ€.
- “Who?†Set as overriding goal for your teen/young adult the exploration of who they are.
o Remind yourself that if you truly believe every child is different, why do we judge them all by the same standards and ask them to all do the same things.
o Listen and watch your teen/young adult to see both large and small clues that might lead to the discovery of an interest, and later perhaps a passion.
- “What?†Continuously encourage your teen/young adult to evaluate their classes, organized and unorganized activities in terms of “why†they like/dislike them and how that relates to “who†they are and/or might aspire to be.
o Facilitate exploration of “new†interests both academic/ nonacademic
o Suggests avenues to pursue identified interests
o Provide teen/young adult with factual consequences of proposed decisions
o Celebrate the “tryingâ€. Lessons learned are the key (both positive and negative).
- Develop personal self-confidence/independence in your teen/young adult.
o When your teen/young adult makes a decision based on thoughtful consideration of the “why/who/what†for him/her, support that decision whole-heartedly.
o Encourage your teen to participate in activities away from familiar places or people giving them opportunities to practice making new friends and adjusting to new places. Gradually increase time and distance from comfort zone.
- Exploration of post-secondary academic/career alternatives should be seamlessly added throughout high school years following the same “Why/Who/What†process.
END GAME: If the process is working the parent will gradually be replaced as the leader of the self-exploration process. However, the mutually respectful dialogue will have become a central part of your relationship with your child and will continue on into their adult life as they maneuver through the working world and starting their own family and all each entails.
Harry Potter and our college quest.
How many times can you remember a book release more anticipated and talked about than the seventh Harry Potter book? Tales of space exploration, halocaust, global warming have never sparked the excitement and obsession for this seventh book by J.K. Rowling. Recognizing the extraordinary phenomenon, the Los Angeles Times postulates today that perhaps it is the result of Rowling’s populist message: The real quest in life is that of personal transformation and not even the Chosen One can go it alone. Leaving home for college is most certainly a MAJOR personal transformation. And for those of us who are past those years, we all can cite times during our college years when we needed the support of family, friends or professors to get through a day. We definitely did not go it alone. However, its not just kids who love Harry Potter. The widespread popularity of Harry Potter to fans of all ages is proof that personal transformations are not merely for the young, and none can go it alone. So enjoy the last book if you’re a fan as I am and look forward to many personal transformations in your future, hopefully surrounded by friends, family and colleagues.
Princeton or Cal State Long Beach: Numbers Aren’t Always What They Seem
F. King Alexander, President of Cal State Long Beach, asserts in today’s “Inside Higher Ed” that people need to change how they evaluate a college’s program. Currently colleges are ranked by “US News” in large part by SAT scores and graduation rates (first-time, full time enrollees who earn degrees within six years). Princeton leads the country with a rate of 97 percent. Cal State Long Beach reports a 48 percent graduation rate. Alexander insists a comparison of these two numbers does not accurately reflect the relative quality of education offered at the two institutions.
Alexander does not propose throwing out graduation rates as a tool for comparison, but suggests adding to that measure the total graduates (8000 for Long Beach, much less for Princeton) and the percentage of students who are eligible for Pell Grants (a proxy for serving disadvantaged students). Alexander suggest that by adding these numbers many of the excellent public universities would begin to compare favorably with the private institutions that currently dominate the top of the US News rankings and thereby have more of an opportunity to catch the attention of the highly qualified high school seniors.
It would be an oversimplification if you discard Alexander’s proposal as an attempt to bash elite private schools and build up public universities. In the same article, he notes that Cornell University, University of Southern California and Brigham Young University are currently ranked slightly less competitive than their peers but graduate far more students from economic bases that include larger shares of Pell eligible students than their peers. Alexander is asking that we consider which institution is really doing the best by its students? For parents and students, its not as simple to know which school is “better” as US News would like us to think.
Young Men and College: Aren’t Going and Aren’t Staying?
“Women make up 58 percent of college and university students, with the percentage of men shrinking every year.”
“Nationwide, male students are also much more likely than women to drop out of school, have lower grades, have run-ins with campus judicial systems and even commit crimes…A lot of times its fighting, vandalism, damaging property. The overwhelming majority of the time it involves alcohol.”
“Experts also say men are less likely to seek help from tutors, teachers and counselors than women–one reason they probably drop out more often.”
Orange County Register June 4, 2007.
According to this Register article, university professionals are becoming more interested in serving the specific needs of male students. University of California Irvine Asst. Vice Chancellor Thomas Parham believes boys of all races generally do worse in school because they are more physically active and find it harder to sit and study or listen to a lecture.
Along that line, together with my local PTA book club, I recently read The Minds of Boys: Saving Our Sons from Falling Behind in School and Life, by Michael Gurian. Gurian’s message is that the innate learning style of boys is inconsistent with traditional kindergarten through high school education programs. In addition to brain research, he includes separate chapters on boys with ADD/ADHD, undermotivated boys and sensitive boys. Whether or not Gurian’s specific suggestions for change will be effective in bettering the lot of boys in our schools is yet to be seen. However, Gurian’s work most certainly will raise awareness of the learning differences between boys and girls which is an important first step.
As parents we all know boys are different from girls and boys are different from each other. But if for example, if boys are less likely to seek out help with school then perhaps as parents we need to stay more on top of our son’s grades in order to encourage them to get help when they need it. We hope that by the time our son is in college he will have learned the benefits of seeking help and will initiate it on his own…well, perhaps after a stumble or two freshman year.
On my son’s graduation day from Oberlin College, I felt pride and relief that he had stuck it out. So many of his male friends from freshmen year didn’t cross the stage that day. As he gathered his cap and diploma, a woman rushed up to him and gave him a giant hug–it was his tutor from the learning center who he finally sought out his sophomore year. After the ceremony driving to lunch he summed it up perfectly with a big smile on his face, “I’m never going to school again!” Well two years later he makes mention from time to time of graduate school, but no definite plans. He loves his work as a musician which pays the rent so everything is good.
PS In the interest of equal time…a very different book but one about challenges girls are facing is Stressed-Out Girls: Helping Them Thrive in the Age of Pressure, by Roni Cohen-Sandler, Ph.D. Subject for future blog.
But I Don’t Qualify for Financial Aid…You Might Be Surprised!
Southern California, April 12…sunny skies, breezy and 70 degrees…perfect weather for staying inside, completing your taxes, waiting in line at the Post Office AND coming straight home to complete your son or daughter’s FAFSA!?!…Free Application for Federal Student Aid: the form required to be completed by all applicants for federal student aid and sufficient for most states and private colleges to establish eligibility for non-federally sponsored aid programs.
The FAFSA can be completed entirely on line in little over an hour using data from your current 1040 forms. What is considered when calculating student need? Annual income and value of investments are the two major factors. NOT considered is the value of your primary residence! [Note I recommend that you sign your student’s FAFSA electronically by requesting a pin. It will take a day or so now, but save you a lot of time in future years.And remember even if you are denied aid this year, reapply in future years.]
You will be asked to enter the code for the school(s) your son/daughter plans to attend next year. …DON’T wait for a final decision.
Every day that passes the line is forming for financial aid at each college and university.
The individual colleges and universities may ask you to provide them with additional information to complete the application. In my experience satisfying these requests takes mimimal time.
It is hard to predict whether or not your son/daughter qualifies for financial aid. It depends on you, them, other students applying, their parents and the financial aid at the discretion of the college or university. So stay inside one more hour and complete your FAFSA. Good luck!
P.S. The sooner the better for submitting a FAFSA, but it’s never too late…summer or even during the school year. The size of the pot of available moneys is just shrinking. But we all know circumstances don’t always change according to schedule, so never hesitate to approach the Office of Financial Aid at your son or daughter’s college at any time throughout the years. They want your son/daughter to have the opportunity to graduate from their college.
Don’t Wait to be Accepted. Find the Money Now!
Just as important as completing a persuasive and complete application for admission is completing a persuasive and complete application for financial aid. Don’t wait until your student is accepted to try to figure out how you will pay the college bill. If you wait for the acceptance letter it will be too late. Now is the time in order to give colleges the opportunity to put together a financial aid package.
Most important first step is to go to the website of every college to which your student applied and read it carefully and thoroughly. Each college has different aid forms and deadlines. Dont hesitate to call the financial aid office if you have questions.
To follow is a list of terms you will encounter as you research the financial aid requirements of each college:
Financial Aid: A general term used to refer to all types of money awarded to student based on financial need. It can include grants, loans, work-study and scholarships.
FAFSA (Free application for federal student aid): Completing the online (or paper) FAFSA is the first step toward applying for federal financial aid at any college. Dont wait until your 2006 taxes are complete, you can begin completing it now. The site walks you through step by step and even the technically challenged like myself can get through it.
CSS Profile (College Scholarship Service): some colleges that award non-federal funds require that this profile be completed. It is a division of the College Board who charges a family $5 registration fee and $18 to submit to each college. AGAIN check each college’s web site to see if this is necessary.
SAR (Student Aid Report): The Department of Education will send a SAR to the applicant and the colleges selected by applicant based on information provided in the FAFSA. The SAR will contain a dollar amount, EFC(Expected Family Contribution) that the family is expected to contribute to college expenses that year.
Demonstrated Need: The difference between the EFC and real cost of attending college.Some colleges are committed to meeting this difference and others are not.
Grants and Scholarships: Federal government and states have systems for granting or giving money to students with demonstrated financial need. It can be used for public or private colleges. Scholarships can also be awarded by colleges or outside sources for achievement, special talents or other particular reasons. These do not need to be repaid.
Loans: Loans must be repaid by students and/or parents and can come from federally funded loans, colleges themselves or banks. Watch the terms carefully and be proactive whenever possible to improve them.
Merit aid: Merit scholarships are awarded to students to entice them to attend the college. They do not have to be repaid.
Work-study: The federal work-study program is a way for students to earn money to help pay for college expenses. Jobs can be on or off campus, though off-campus jobs are usually related to community service. Even if your student does not qualify for work study have them seek work opportunities organized through the college as they are often more understanding of college testing schedules and vacations.
College “Wrong Carrot” for Some?
In an article in yesterday’s Wall Street Journal entitled “What’s Wrong With Vocational School” Charles Murray argues that too many high school graduates are going to four-year colleges. Getting past Murray’s troubling reliance on an IQ of 100 as a cut-off of sorts for students going to a four-year college, Murray should cause parents and educators to pause and consider both the personal and societal value of alternatives to a college education. Assuming value in a vocational education is found, the obvious first step is to expose high school students (or even middle school students) to classes that expose them to the various vocations, just as high schools currently expose their students to the sciences, math, music etc. But how can we expect high schools to offer vocational classes if their success is judged both locally and nationally by student performance on standardized tests in math, science and english to say nothing of the reality that parents often select their child’s high school based on how many graduates go on to a four-year colleges? Murray’s article correctly focuses attention on the symptom–“wrong kids” going to college, but readers should recognize the source of the problem is not the kid or the parent, but is state and federally mandated curriculum that dangles the “wrong carrot”–college for all. In fact , a large percentage of high school students might be better off in their adult lives if they were “left behind” from college and attended vocational school.
Scholarships in a nutshell.
What to ask about scholarships.
Keep these questions in mind:Â Â Â Â
- What is the maximum scholarship award?
- Is the scholarship one-time or can it be renewed?
- What’s required for renewal?
- Is the scholarship based on merit or need, or a combination?
- How does the scholarship define merit?
- Does the scholarship require admission to a certain college program?
- Is full-time enrollment required to get and keep the scholarship?
- What are the other requirements, if any?
- Is an essay required?
- Are recommendation letters required?
- What is the deadline?
- How does the college treat “outside” scholarships? Some schools let students combine outside scholarships with financial aid from the college with no impact on a student’s financial-aid package. Others will reduce the package if you get outside scholarships. Check with the college.
A thought for today…and tomorrow!
When dealing with kids…”believe in them and help them believe in themselves”. (source unknown)
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